YOU ARE WORTHY OF BEING LOVED.
Let me say it again… YOU ARE WORTHY OF BEING LOVED. Whether or not your husband makes you feel loved has nothing to do with the fact that you are still WORTHY of love. There is a way to live loved, even if it seems like your husband will never change. There is hope and there is a life filled over the brim with love, extending its arm to you right now. You can live loved, right now, if you are willing to lay your marriage down. Let’s go a little deeper.
HERE’S WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE…
Whether you believe it or not, you already ARE fully known and deeply loved. You, my friend, are WORTHY, you are LOVED. You are not broken. You are not unloveable. I know you might not feel that way all the time right now, but I promise, if you make Truth louder than your feelings, if you taste and see that He is good, you will experience freedom in your marriage, because you are His.
Our God is a God of transformation. No one was ever transformed through hate - that’s why you can’t hate your marriage into transformation. Love transforms. God is Love, and He is the King of transformation. So, friend, any guilt, shame or condemnation that you carry about your marriage? It can be absorbed into the love of God that transcends and pulls us into the reality of who we were created to be.
In Christ, you are accepted, not rejected. You aren’t broken, you’re a new creation! Shame is OFF of you.
PS - if you’re in an abusive situation, please seek help outside of this resource. This in no way is meant to replace legal / medical help.
“Those who look to Him are radiant, their faces are never covered in shame.” (Psalm 34:5)
HOPE CONFETTI, RELEASED!
Oh, friend! I am tickled pink that you’re here!! I’ve been dreaming of creating this “hope confetti” with you in mind for so long. A dream that was truly born out of my time spent with Jesus.
Proverbs 4:23 tells us to guard our hearts because all things flow from it. It’s why I’m so passionate about identity. Before I got married, I felt really confident and drew that from my relationship with Christ. However, after some time went on in our marriage, my confidence was wrecked. I felt lonelier than ever and deeply empty. I was still in my Bible each day and had a strong faith, but it didn’t seem to help ... much. I was so angry and bitter towards my husband for not loving me in the way I expected. I thought marriage was supposed to be more fulfilling than it had played out. And honestly, I was more confused than ever. I just wished he adored me the way I dreamt he would.
But, that’s not where the story ends. God rushed in and did what only HE could do — offered healing + restoration. I’m going to tell you a little bit about it in the audio coffee date below. God’s way leads to life. His way gives true rest. His way erases guilt, shame + condemnation.
I’d love to share a personal message with you about my marriage. When you have a moment, tune in!
You may want to write down these pillars of promise on notecards and keep them with you to reference throughout the day!
PILLARS OF PROMISE
Philippians 4:8 - Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Ephesians 6:12 - For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms..
Deuteronomy 31:8 - The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
2 Corinthians 10:5 - We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
Galatians 5:13 - For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
Matthew 10:39 - Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
PRAY IT OUT
Knowing the Father God has completely changed my faith. In John 14:6, we see that we can come to the Father only through His Son, Jesus. If we know the Son, we can know the Father (John 14:7)! Instead of running away and covering ourselves with fig leaves (aka, shame), we have the privilege of crawling up into our Daddy’s arms, chatting directly with Him, and asking all of our prayers in Jesus’ name (John 16:23)!
Instead of praying out of desperation and from a place of discouragement and not-enough-ness, we can pray from a place of security and authority - because our feelings are not the truth. Here is an example of how to pray in the midst of something that needs strength…
Father, I thank You for making me a new creation! I thank You for giving me Your Spirit, through Whom You’re revealing Your heart to me. You’re in me, Holy Spirit. Thank You that I’m becoming patient, God, You’re doing such a work in me and I’m so excited about it! Rewire my heart so all of my desires line up with You. Align my thoughts with Your thoughts about myself and the world around me. My thoughts are now through the lens of Your love. Thank You, Father for making me more like You. Thank you for showing me how to see myself as You see me. Now I can love others the way You love me, I can love my neighbor as myself. In Jesus’ name, amen!
Once you see your own created value, you will see the created value of others.
Proverbs 18:21 says that death and life are in the power of the tongue.
We want to be women who speak life - to ourselves and to others! If the power of life and death are in the tongue, that means my words have a lot of power, and I should pay attention to them!
It’s so important to renew your mind. As you do, your beliefs will be formed, your thoughts will be transformed, and ultimately, what comes off of your “tongue” will be life giving. If you don’t renew your mind or if you don’t grasp the finished work of the cross, you can actually work against the Kingdom that He’s trying to give you.
AKA - read the Word and spend time with Him :)
A LIVING HOPE
I heard a pastor once say that those who live with the most Hope have the greatest influence. Hope springs forth from knowing who He is and who that makes you.
The hope we have in Christ is so much different than the world’s definition of hope. The world defines hope as things wished or desired for. But those who follow Christ?
Our hope is a living hope. It is knowing that there’s nothing that can come my way that breakthrough hasn’t already been planned ahead for, by the God of the Universe. It’s knowing we can’t die, because we’ll live forever in Him. Now, that’s what I call hope, friend!
Jesus, I want to see more of You in me. Show me how to walk away from myself. Show me how to live out of knowing that I am fully known and deeply loved by You. Transform me to become more like You, transform me to reflect Your image!
Instead of praying for the Lord to change your marriage, ask Him to give you fresh love for your husband. Ask Him to show you how to serve your husband. Seek to serve and love him, even if he “doesn’t deserve it,” because while you were still a sinner, Christ died for you (Romans 5:8)!” Love your husband as an act of obedience and love for your King.
The Power of Two Becoming One in Marriage by Dan Mohler - Check out this video and more by him on YouTube!
Check out this video that was filmed by Jon Jorgenson. It is such a beautiful message to women in general. I saw this when it first came out and love to revisit it from time to time.
Crazy Love by Francis Chan*
Love Does by Bob Goff*
*these are affiliate links, so I will receive a tiny payout if you purchase through this link! Thank you!
GROW IN INTIMACY
Matthew 6:7 says, “when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”
Sis, I gotta get real for a sec, ok? Blogs, sermons, podcasts, and even resources like this are great - but they will never produce fruit in your life — they will never deepen your relationship with God. You know what will? Spending time with Him. Just like any friend. We need to carve out QT (quality time) with our Heavenly Father and seek Him - no matter how we feel. It’s an act of faith, not an act of feelings.
Seek Him. Get into a biblical church that is Kingdom focused. Build community with other believers. But greater than all, seek Him until you find Him.
WHAT DOES GOD REALLY THINK OF ME?
Once you start to really grasp this identity thing, you’ll be set free from the self-centered, self-absorbed nature of man that was inherited at the fall. I truly believe that the enemy attacks our identity so harshly because he knows if you knew who you really were, you’d be an unstoppable warrior for God! The enemy doesn’t want you to know who you are, because he knows you get to inherit the Kingdom that will never be his. But don’t be afraid, God has already overcome the enemy through His Son, Jesus Christ (John 16:33)!
God created us in His image, but we became totally selfish and self consumed at the fall of man - we took on the nature of God’s enemy. We were never created for guilt, shame, condemnation or body image issues. We became that way after the fall. Jesus said if you deny yourself and follow Me, the sinful nature that you inherited at the fall will be washed away when you’re born again. I used to think that the Gospel just exposed my sin, but it actually reveals my value and says that I’m worth the blood of Jesus and my life is meaningful to Him. The Gospel doesn’t just expose my sin, it removes it so I can wake up as His daughter and delight in being His!
Being born again removes the identity of sin off of you and clothes you with sonship, err … daughtership :)
God didn’t send His Son because you were such a #trainwreck, He did so because He LOVES you and you are of worth to Him. He didn’t send His Son just so that we’d say a prayer and wait to go to heaven. He did so to redeem us back to our originally created value — you were made in His image, you are His daughter! My sweet friend, if you have accepted Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior, you are no longer living under the law of sin, you are restored back to your original value! Instead of focusing on what is wrong with your life or body, you can focus on what’s been made right with Christ living within you.
This is the beginning of a whole new life for you, a life that isn’t weighed down by your circumstances. But a life that is so in love and so in awe with the Life living inside of her - Christ in you, the hope of glory!
If you are ready to give your life to Jesus, I would love to pray with you. Watch the video below as I walk you through a prayer that leads you to Salvation — but don’t think that’s the end. It’s just the beginning!! I’d love to celebrate with you if you’ve given your life to Christ for the first time or even if you want to recommit your life to Him again. Click the button below and send me an email. I will rejoice right along with you!!
As you go, proclaim this message: 'The kingdom of heaven has come near.' Matthew 10:7